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Why Do I Do That? is a self-help book for people who don't usually buy self-help books. �Instead of offering cognitive-behavioral techniques for dealing with anger, or affirming strategies to boost self-esteem, this self-help book adapts the basic methods of psychodynamic psychotherapy to a guided course in self-exploration, highlighting the universal role of defense mechanisms in warding off emotional pain. �Even the best self-help books tend to stay on the surface, helping readers to modify their conscious thoughts and behaviors. �Why Do I Do That? instead probes deeply into the unconscious.With easy-to-understand explanations, the first part teaches you about the unconscious mind and the role of psychological defenses in excluding difficult feelings from awareness. Individual chapters in the longer middle section explore the primary defense mechanisms one by one, with exercises to help you identify your own defenses at work. The final part offers guidance for how to "disarm" your defenses and cope more effectively with the unconscious feelings behind them.�Psychological defense mechanisms are an inevitable and necessary part of the human experience; but when they become too pervasive or deeply entrenched, they may damage our personal relationships, restrict or distort our emotional lives and prevent us from behaving in ways that promote lasting self-esteem. �Why Do I Do That?�promotes self-help for readers who want to improve their relationships, manage their emotional lives more effectively and develop authentic self-esteem that will last. �If you find that even the best self-help books lack depth and fail to instigate lasting change, this psychodynamic self-help book may be for you.
- Sales Rank: #30502 in Books
- Published on: 2012-10-26
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .61" w x 6.00" l, .79 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 242 pages
Review
"This thought-provoking book explores the psychological defense mechanisms Burgo believes all people harbor. �In a congenial tone, the author reiterates that human emotions and their associated defenses [are a] part of everyday life. Exercises at the end of chapters apply techniques for recognizing and defusing oppressive defenses in readers' own lives and bring the book down to a personal level, creating a valuable resource for readers." Publisher's Weekly
About the Author
Joseph Burgo, Ph.D. has practiced psychotherapy for more than 30 years, holding licenses as a marriage and family therapist and clinical psychologist. He earned his undergraduate degree at UCLA and his masters and doctorate at California Graduate Institute in Los Angeles. He is also a graduate psychoanalyst and has served as a board member, officer and instructor at a component society of the International Psychoanalytic Association. He currently writes the popular blog "After Psychotherapy" where he discusses personal growth issues from a psychodynamic perspective.
Most helpful customer reviews
80 of 82 people found the following review helpful.
Best self-help book I've read, by far!!
By Susan
This book is amazing from every angle! Anyone who's searched through Amazon or any bookstore knows there are mountains of self-help books out there. How do you choose? As a practicing psychotherapist (and someone who's had years of my own therapy), I've tended to steer my clients away from self-help books because they usually oversimplify issues and promote unrealistic expectations which actually sabotage growth. At last, here's a self-help book I can heartily recommend to clients, friends, family, or anyone who asks! This is a one-of-a-kind book which addresses the depth and complexity of human psychology in astonishingly clear, graspable language which the everyday reader will relate to. Along with providing a pretty fascinating review of the most powerful ideas in psychoanalytic thought, it also gives the reader concrete and effective exercises that promote growth and change. And the book keeps getting better as it goes on. it ends by giving the reader a picture of what it is to be "healthy," as opposed to "perfect." Dr. Burgo goes out of his way to show the reader that a person never arrives at personal perfection. He acknowledges change is hard work, but that the rewards of getting out from under the oppression of one's defenses are well worth the effort. Likewise, you'll find this book is well worth the read!
44 of 45 people found the following review helpful.
Growth is still possible with this helpful book
By Callae Walcott-Rounds
As a practicing psychoanalyst, I found that this book tackles complex matters of the human condition and the workings of our minds in a highly sensitive and forthright way. It's pages are full of clear and detailed understanding of the many extraordinarily human ways we undermine our own emotional growth and instead adhere to self-deceptions. Here Dr. Burgo brings much compassion as well as a gentle but firm nudge to take any new self-understandings gleamed while reading, and with his helpful and probing questions and exercises, to actually develop in new ways. The candor and wisdom found in this well crafted and jargon free book will be an immensely useful tool for growth as an adjunct to those already in psychotherapy or for those who can not access or afford quality treatment.
50 of 53 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent Book, mediocre editing, poor numbering
By Armando Brons
As others reviewers have already said, this is a self-help book which "... addresses the depth and complexity of human psychology in astonishingly clear, graspable language which the everyday reader will relate to. Unfortunately, because of a mediocre editing and poor numbering system, those who will study this book seriously will have some difficulty in locating later on the subjects and references that interested them and would like to revise again. As a free contribution to this valuable book for those who want to study it seriously and find the numbering system too limited, I am reproducing here a more detailed Table of Content:
Table of Contents (Detailed)
Copyright
Dedication
Introduction
PART I – Understanding Our Psychological Defense Mechanisms
0 Introduction
Chapter 1: The “Me” I Don’t Know
1.1 Introduction
1.2 What is a Psychological Defense Mechanism?
1.3 Defense Mechanisms and Your Personality
1.4 Making Use of the Exercises of this Book
1.5 Exercises
1.6 Now What?
Chapter 2: Our Primary Psychological Concerns
2.1 Introduction
2.2 Theoretical Views on the Primary Psychological Concerns
2.3 EXERCISE
2.3.4 Cluster A
2.3.4.1 Group 1
2.3.4.2 Group2
2.3.5 Cluster B
2.3.5.1 Group 3
2.3.5.2 Group 4
2.3.6 Cluster C
2.3.6.1 Group 5
2.3.6.2 Group 6
2.4 Now What?
Chapter 3: The Emotional Landscape
3.1 Introduction
3.2 “All I Want is to be Happy”
3.3 Aristotle’s List of Emotions
3.4 Fear, Anger and Hatred
3.5 Calmness and Confidence
3.6 Shame
3.7 Envy and Jealousy
3.8 Love, Gratitude and the Ability to Empathize
3.9 EXERCISE
3.10 Now What?
3.11 To Bear in Mind
PART II - Identifying Your Psychological Defenses
Chapter 4: Repression and Denial
4.1 Repression
4.2 Unconscious Hostility and Passive-Aggressive Behavior
4.3 Repression and Resistance
4.4 Denial
4.5 Denial of Awareness
4.6 Denial in Psychotherapy and in Everyday Life
4.7 What to Look For
4.7.1 Need and Dependency
4.7.2 Emotions
4.7.3 Self-Esteem
4.8 EXERCISES
4.10 Now What?
Chapter 5: Displacement and Reaction Formation
5.1 Displacement
5.2 The Usefulness of Displacement
5.3 How Displacement May Damage Relationships
5.4 Reaction Formation
5.5 The Reformed Smoker
5.6 Reaction Formation as a Part of Character
5.7 Reaction Formation at Work along with Displacement
5.8 Reaction Formation and Shame
5.9 What to Look For
5.9.1 Need and Dependency
5.9.2 Emotions
5.9.3 Self-esteem
5.10 EXERCISES
5.11 Now What?
Chapter 6: Splitting
6.1 Introduction
6.2 The Two Types of Ambivalence
6.3 The Problem of Hatred
6.4 The Universality of Hatred
6.5 The Story of Alexis
6.6 Useful vs. Excessive Splitting
6.7 Splitting Our Perceptions of Other People
6.8 Splitting Under Extreme Stress
6.9 What to Look For
6.9.1 Need and Dependency
6.9.2 Emotions
6.9.3 Self-Esteem
6.10 EXERCISES
6.11 Now What?
Chapter 7: Idealization
7.1 Introduction
7.2 Idealization as a Defense Mechanism
7.3 Ethan
7.4 Cultural Images of the Ideal
7.5 Idealization and Splitting
7.6 Heroes and Celebrities
7.7 Idealizing an Experience
7.8 Idealizing Ourselves
7.9 What to Look For
7.9.1 Need and Dependency
7.9.2 Emotions
7.9.3 Self-Esteem
7.10 EXERCISES
7.11 Now What?
Chapter 8: Projection
8.1 Introduction
8.2 How Babies Communicate
8.3 Projection as a Part of Everyday Life
8.4 Projection of Guilt
8.5 Projection in Romantic Love
8.6 Projection as an Aspect of Character
8.7 Splitting and Projection Together
8.8 Projection and Anxiety
8.9 Projection and Shame
8.10 What to Look For
8.10.1 Need and Dependency
8.10.2 Emotions
8.10.3 Self-Esteem
8.11 EXERCISES
8.12 Now What?
Chapter 9: Control
9.1 Superstitions
9.2 Helplessness and Control
9.3 Dependency and Control
9.4 Stealth Control
9.5 Self-Esteem and Control
9.6 What to Look For
9.6.1 Need and Dependency
9.6.2 Emotions
9.6.3 Self-Esteem
9.7 EXERCISES
9.8 Now What?
Chapter 10: “Thinking”
10.1 Introduction
10.2 Rationalization
10.3 Intellectualization
10.4 Precocity
10.5 The Overall Process of Thinking as a Defense
10.6 What to Look For
10.6.1 Need and Dependency
10.6.2 Emotions
10.6.3 Self-Esteem
10.7 EXERCISES
10.8 Now What?
Chapter 11: Defenses Against Shame
11.1 Introduction
11.2 The Primary Defense against Shame
11.3 David
11.4 Ordinary vs. Defensive Narcissism
11.5 The Shame-Driven Superego
11.6 Blaming
11.7 Contempt
11.8 The Defense of Last Resort
11.9 What to Look For
11.9.1 Need and Dependency
11.9.2 Emotions
11.9.3 Self-Esteem
11.10 EXERCISES
11.11 Now What?
Part III Disarming Your Defenses
Chapter 12: The Mindset for Change
12.1 Introduction
12.2 The Tenacity of Your Defenses
12.3 Vigilance
12.4 Sources of Distraction
12.5 Anesthetics
12.6 Mindfulness
12.7 “Locating” Your Feelings
12.8 Don’t Believe Everything You Feel
12.9 Open-Eyed Honesty
12.10 Courage and Compassion
12.11 Preparing to Choose
Chapter 13: The Role of Choice
13.1 Introduction
13.2 Resistance to Change
13.3 The More Difficult Choice
13.4 Facing Shame
13.5 Justifying Our Defenses
13.6 Distrusting Your Emotions
13.7 Feelings Don’t Last Forever
13.8 Challenging the Hidden Defense
13.9 The Ongoing Nature of Choice and Change
Chapter 14: The Future of Your Defenses
14.1 Introduction
14.2 Denial and Repression
14.3 Displacement and Reaction Formation
14.4 Splitting
14.5 Idealization
14.6 Projection
14.7 Control
14.8 “Thinking”
14.9 Shame and Self-Esteem
14.10 Conclusion
15 Additional Reading
16 Acknowledgments
17 About the Author
18 Footnotes
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